Friday, February 17, 2012

The "I" Word

Some things we can't control. Things like.... childbirth. I guess there are certain things we can be in charge of, but when it comes down to it.. sometimes baby gets stuck. Yes. This happened to me.

My #1 baby girl had issues "coming out" (mind you, I STILL did it au'natural!!!!! ) and there is nothing you can do. So what happens when you're preggo with baby girl #2?? You are higher risk.

I've been aware of this ever since I birthed #1 but the closer it gets, the more it is becoming real. At my 32 week appointment yesterday, we briefly talked induction. I was with one of the midwives, with whom I will NOT birth :(. SO, at my next appointment with our OB we will talk more in depth about it.

Its crazy to think of this "I" word. I never thought it would "happen to me". Ya know? I took the classes. I've researched. I WILL do it natural.. I didn't really think that it would come to that. AND it may NOT! But, I'm accepting it. There are things we will start a little earlier than last time.. Primrose oil, raspberry leaf tea, walking.. and so on.

So, I'm here to say, that I know God is in control and the birth will be perfect. No matter what happens. After all, it's ONLY a 25% chance that it will happen again. :)

Prayers welcome!!!!

Friday, February 10, 2012

My hubby.

Today is my hubby's birthday. He is amazing. Did you know this? He really is. Have you ever heard our love story?? Well.... here it is!!

It was my senior year.. 2003-2004. I was still "sort of seeing" this other guy, (lets leave it there).. and I started working a lot of shifts at Hy-Vee with my now-hubby. 2 of my best friends, Hubby's brother, hubby and I spent a lot of time together. Well... hubby started "liking" one of my best friends. :) SOO he would talk with me about her, asking me if she would ever go out with him.. which I said "probably not" b/c I knew that he wasn't her type. Well, turns out he stopped liking her shortly after but continued to talk with me like he DID, just so I would talk to him. HE knew that if I KNEW he liked ME, I would back off.

SOOO he started coming around. A lot. :) I sort of "hit rock bottom" with a break-up of this other guy in January, 2004.. and Casey was there. He was just there. Spring came, and with that came track season. He came to almost EVERY SINGLE ONE of my track meets. Even traveling with MY MOM to the away ones. Casey is a people person. He gets along with almost everyone. If that was me, I probably wouldn't be traveling with his mom.. when I barely knew her. We spent LOTS of nights going on walks and getting to know each other. This was different for me b/c he was a "public school boy". I graduated from a private Christian school, and firmly believe in "Thou shalt not be unequally yolked together with unbelievers." So I prayed and prayed for his salvation. The week after Easter, he gave his heart to the Lord. My dad always called him "New Boy". He fit RIGHT in to my life. In with my people. In to my world. He was it. Who I had been waiting for my whole life, and been praying for since I was about 12 years old.

He let me heal. After a few months, (yes, only a few months) I could start to see this becoming a real relationship. You see, at first, I said I could NEVER see myself with him. I remember exactly where I was in my mom's kitchen saying that. BUT he started to grow on me. :) He was very aware of my past, b/c I made sure he knew exactly where I was coming from before we even started dating. He knew all of my feelings at the time, and again, just let me heal. HE was there. He was my rock.

 We started dating the day before my birthday in late May.. and 1 1/2 years later, we were engaged! It seems like just yesterday, and we've been married now for 5 1/2 years. He is amazing. He is patient. He is faithful. He is loving. He is funny. He is confident. He completes me. He tells me when I'm being ridiculous (which is a lot. I'm a drama queen.). He isn't afraid to tell me what he thinks. He is, in every single way, my other half. God had a definite plan for us. I'm so glad that I finally let GOD write my love story, instead of trying to write it myself. Amen. AND... he is an AMAZING father. He runs and laughs and plays and acts silly SO much more than I do with our daughter. He is loving to her. He kisses and hugs and holds her so gently. He is a pushover. :) We are expecting our 2nd baby GIRL in April, and then he will definitely be out numbered. His babies are his weakness.

SO anyway, that's it. My hubby is amazing. I don't know where I would be without him. The end.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Comparison- 31 week belly shot

Ok, so, for those of you that randomly stumble upon my blog, and don't know much about me, let me recap. :) I am pregnant with our second baby girl, EXACTLY 2 years after our first one. Yes. Exactly. I bet you I got pregnant just DAYS from when I got pregnant with Eliza. I am due 6 DAYS before her birthday.. and honestly.. they have moved it up a couple days based on the ultrasound. My original due date was 3 days before her birthday.

Anyway, I'm a very organized, detailed and precise person. For a long time everything about myself seemed so "ordinary". Nothing really to stand out... nothing really very noticeable about me or the way I was. I have friends that are SOOO talented and beautiful, that I was never jealous... just satisfied to be noticed second, or by the way. (This is not a pity party)

When I first met my hubby, he began to make me believe in things about myself that I never wanted to believe. AND really his family did too. It's not that my family didn't make me believe in myself, I just saw it in a different light. There are many times, when I wear makeup to feel pretty, that he doesn't even notice that I'm wearing it, "b/c I'm beautiful no matter if I wear it or not." He has NEVER said that he thought I was too "Curvy" (yes, I mean fat), b/c I've never really been "skinny" either, according to the world's view of skinny, which is VERY skinny. I think you know what I mean. We have it shoved in our faces every day with magazines and tv, it's ridiculous. How can we have a healthy body image when the world tells you YOU are too fat??? He always tells me he hates that "skinny" that I never was anyway.

Now, getting onto my main point. When I was pregnant with our first baby girl, I gained A LOT of weight. And lets be honest. It wasn't like I was exercising and FIT with I got pregnant with her either. I wasn't exercising at all. I gained A LOT of water weight RIGHT from the beginning. I couldn't wear my wedding right when I was just 12 weeks pregnant! I didn't even realize how bad it was until after I had her and I looked back at pictures. (Yes, I lost it all and then some with some HARD CORE P90X! That is no joke. HARD WORK!) Wow. It REALLY did look like I was carrying twins. I can't even believe the people that would give me sympathetic looks, and ALWAYS ask me when I was due. I STOPPED saying "April" b/c it was winter and that seemed A LONG way away, and then they would be in shock b/c it looked like I was ready to have the baby NOW! One time in January, I had about 12 weeks left, and a lady said to me, "You're about ready any day now, right?" And I was SO ANGRY!!!! NO!!! I have 12 more weeks!!!!!! OMG HOW RUDE!!!! (And really don't ever say anything like this to a pregnant woman..... ever.)

SO, I had Eliza, 43.5 pounds later. Now, I'm sure you feel sorry for me.. and my friends and family are, I'm sure laughing right now, but it was so ridiculous. THIS TIME, I'm over 10 pounds LIGHTER. I don't really have ANY of that water retention that I had with E, and I FEEL GREAT! There are times when I don't even FEEL pregnant (besides the aches in my pelvis/ hips and achy feet after a days work).  Seriously, I forget sometimes. I know a lot of that has to do with  being busy with a toddler. BUT I feel so good. I'm so thankful for this. I'm kind of nervous about the birth, b/c Eliza was difficult with her "shoulder dystocia".. but that is a different story! :)

SO for those of you rejoicing with me right now, and wanting proof.. here it is. 31 weeks.

The belly seems the same to me, but WOW the face DOES NOT! Like I said, I feel so much better this time. AND NO NEW STRETCH marks yet either! I'm expecting some toward the end, but you should see how many I got on my HIPS AND THIGHS with Eliza, Yes, my butt looks smaller too, let's just say it. WAY less weight gained makes me VERY happy!!!!!!!!

YAY FOR PREGNANCY!!!!! I can't wait! Only 8.5 more weeks!!!!!

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Super Bowl!

So here I sit with my hubby watch the PRE-GAME show. It's funny how little things like this can make us feel so peaceful. We have a little menu planned of game foods, and we aren't even going anywhere! I love it when my hubby gets excited about something. A sort of passion comes out in these things, and it always makes me smile. We are excited to hear Kelly Clarkson sing (ok that may just be me) and Madonna's half time performance (mostly to see how horrible it is). He has been telling Eliza all day what we're gonna eat after nap time, and that we are gonna watch football! She seemed excited as well.

Loving my life right about now! :) Happy Super Bowl!!!

Thursday, February 2, 2012


Today I listened to a Focus on the Family broadcast called God's Design for Parenting.. and I cried. It's like I was listening to my own mind, but someone else was speaking it! The jest was God is judging us on how we react to our children's actions, even though the world judges us on how our children act. Our responsibility as parents is to raise Godly children, and we don't have forever. Look at your babies. Weren't they just newborn? Wow. I was STRUCK. We have only been given so much time to be a Godly influence to our children.. and are we? Is what I say telling her this is how Christ would talk? Is how I act telling her this is how Christ would act? I've already become a witness to how little time she needs to pick something up. She is smart. Is this the kind of WIFE I want her to become? Or even mother?? What example am I setting, really?? It seems like this is something we've all heard before, but today it really hit home. God has really been dealing with me and working with me on the wife He has called me to be. The Godly wife. The supportive wife. Yes, the submissive wife. I think we all know that I have an opinion. :) God, in His gentle way, is teaching me to be like Christ as a wife.

I cannot believe how having a child is changing me, challenging me and teaching me. I'm SO grateful for these "gifts" that God has entrusted me with. I can't believe what I'm learning along the way. I feel like my eyes are opening for the first time. God is so gracious. I can't wait to see what He will teach me next!!!!!!

And baby makes 4!!! :)